Jennette McCurdy, author of ‘I’m Glad My Mom Died,’ is ready to shock you

Jennette McCurdy, author of ‘I’m Glad My Mom Died,’ is ready to shock you


On the Shelf

Half His Age

By Jennette McCurdy
Ballantine Books: 288 pages, $30

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Jennette McCurdyโ€™s phone could not be silenced.

After the release of her 2022 memoir, โ€œIโ€™m Glad My Mom Died,โ€ the actress-turned-author received an unending barrage of messages and calls from friends, family, distant acquaintances, people sheโ€™d crossed paths with one time when she was 12 years old.

โ€œI heard from everybody Iโ€™ve ever met. Everybody came out of the woodwork,โ€ McCurdy said. While most of the messages were positive, she added, โ€œI have changed my phone number a few times since then. I like to keep my inner circle pretty close now.โ€

Her memoir was a raw, unflinching look at her childhood spent tethered to an abusive mother, her personal battles with eating disorders and alcohol, her tumultuous teenage years as a Nickelodeon star on the sitcoms โ€œiCarlyโ€ and โ€œSam & Catโ€ and her recalibration in the wake of her motherโ€™s death from cancer when McCurdy was 21.

Its readership went far beyond McCurdyโ€™s phone contacts. โ€œIโ€™m Glad My Mom Diedโ€ was a bona fide phenomenon. It sold more than 3 million copies and spent more than 80 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller list. And itโ€™s currently in the process of being adapted into an Apple TV+ series starring Jennifer Aniston as McCurdyโ€™s mother.

Now, McCurdy, who is 33, is attempting to tell a new story with the January release of her debut novel โ€œHalf His Age.โ€ The insular, visceral tale follows Waldo, a teenage girl in Alaska who has a sexual relationship with her middle-aged, married English teacher.

If some readers were aghast at the title of McCurdyโ€™s memoir or its contents, theyโ€™ll almost certainly balk at โ€œHalf His Age,โ€ which is a thorny exploration of power, lust, shame and rage, written in McCurdyโ€™s now-signature wry style. The bookโ€™s cover features a close-up photograph of a young woman (not McCurdy) sucking her middle finger, and the sex scenes within are unvarnished, uncomfortable and plentiful.

โ€œIโ€™m never writing something thatโ€™s intentionally provocative, and Iโ€™m certainly never writing anything for shock value,โ€ McCurdy said. โ€œI really try to write for truth, and I canโ€™t help it if thatโ€™s shocking. I canโ€™t help it if thatโ€™s noisy or alarming. In fact, if it is those things, thatโ€™s probably an indication that there is some truth there and a conversation thatโ€™s needed to be had.โ€

When we met for our interview at a Pasadena restaurant in December, McCurdy looked almost identical to when Iโ€™d interviewed her there in 2022, before the release of her memoir โ€” dark blond, tousled curls atop a petite frame and a broad smile. But a granular shift seems to have occurred. Nervous laughter has been replaced by a calmer confidence. Her eyes sparkle a little brighter.

"Half His Age: A Novel" by Jennette McCurdy.

The success of McCurdyโ€™s memoir cemented her status as a writer, a title she prized far above โ€œformer child actorโ€ or โ€œTV star.โ€ Authors sheโ€™d long admired, like Maria Semple and Tom Perrotta, now read and praise her writing. McCurdy even spent Thanksgiving with Semple last year.

โ€œItโ€™s this sense of belonging that Iโ€™ve always craved and never quite felt,โ€ she said. โ€œAll through my 20s I thought, โ€˜Well, Iโ€™m just losing my tribe. I donโ€™t know where my people are.โ€™ I have found my people through writing in the past three years.โ€

Itโ€™s been a long time coming. After moving away from acting โ€” a career that had been thrust upon her by her mother at just 6 years old โ€” McCurdy began to furiously devote herself to writing in the mid-2010s. At first, she immersed herself in a variety of classes around L.A. She tried sketch writing, late-night TV writing, spec writing, but she quickly learned she didnโ€™t actually want to write sketches or late-night monologues. Instead, she started to focus on longer-form storytelling via essays, her memoir, novels and screenplays.

At least six days a week for the last decade, McCurdy said, sheโ€™s spent her waking hours scribbling on a laptop inside her Pasadena home, rotating from her desk to the kitchen counter to the couch to the dining table to the veranda and back again.

โ€œI sort of write until Iโ€™m tired. Sometimes thatโ€™s 4 p.m. and sometimes thatโ€™s 8 p.m.,โ€ she said. โ€œThis year, specifically, Iโ€™ve pulled the longest days of my life. I had many days that were until 2 in the morning. It was really, really intense.โ€

โ€œHalf His Ageโ€ first began percolating when McCurdy was 24, riding a bullet train on a solo trip in Japan. Sheโ€™d never written a book at that point, but the idea of a novel with a 17-year-old protagonist involved in an age-gap relationship cemented itself in the back of her brain. Years later, after the release of her memoir, she felt compelled to finally see it through.

โ€œIt forced itself upon me. You know, when authors say words like, โ€˜There was no other choice than to write this thing,โ€™ I always thought it sounded a little pretentious,โ€ she said. โ€œNow, I completely know what it means. Waldo, this protagonist, her voice โ€” I was waking up in the middle of the night thinking of this character.โ€

Although McCurdy said she considers herself an emotional writer, some elements of โ€œHalf His Ageโ€ required more exacting research. Setting a story in a public high school when she herself had only been homeschooled and tutored on set, for example, was a challenge.

โ€œI was literally looking up, โ€˜Do they still have lockers in high school? What is a typical layout of a high school?โ€™โ€ she said.

Elsewhere, she imbued the story with elements of familiarity: Waldo has similar unruly curls to McCurdyโ€™s; Waldoโ€™s best friend is Mormon, the religion in which McCurdy was raised; and Waldo lives in Anchorage, where McCurdyโ€™s partner of nine years is from, and where McCurdy said she has spent many months.

She also gave Waldo a complicated, absentee mother figure who leaves Waldo to shoulder the responsibilities of the household with her paychecks from a part-time job at a Victoriaโ€™s Secret. (On a different scale, McCurdy was the breadwinner for her own family by the time she was a teenager.)

โ€œI think Iโ€™ll always write mother-daughter dynamics, and really any family dynamics, in a complicated, messy way. Iโ€™ve tried to write other kinds of dynamics, and my body will freeze up,โ€ she said. โ€œIf Iโ€™m trying to write a loving, supportive, validating, parental figure, thatโ€™s not my experience. I donโ€™t know how to begin to write that.โ€

Author Jennette McCurdy.

โ€œI really try to write for truth, and I canโ€™t help it if thatโ€™s shocking. I canโ€™t help it if thatโ€™s noisy or alarming,โ€ said author Jennette McCurdy.

(Victoria Stevens)

But beyond those details, McCurdy has a deep connection to the bookโ€™s central storyline: McCurdyโ€™s first serious relationship, which she detailed in her memoir, occurred when she was a naรฏve 18-year-old with an โ€œiCarlyโ€ crew member who was in his mid-30s.

โ€œThereโ€™s certainly overlap,โ€ she said. โ€œThereโ€™s certainly influence there. Writing, for me, is a means of finding closure where maybe there wasnโ€™t in my own life. Itโ€™s a means of finding meaning and empowerment in places where maybe I didnโ€™t feel it so much. Itโ€™s a way of exploring things that I maybe havenโ€™t fully processed myself.โ€

She added, โ€œI kept thinking, โ€˜Why is this coming through? Why is this the book that Iโ€™m writing?โ€™ Several drafts in, I realized, โ€˜Oh, itโ€™s because I have a lot of unprocessed rage about this.โ€™ Of course, itโ€™s a piece of fiction, and there are plenty of deviations, but, ultimately, I have a really personal connection to it, coming from that place myself.โ€

Rage is something she expects many female readers to feel as they follow Waldoโ€™s journey in โ€œHalf His Age.โ€

โ€œWeโ€™re taught to be polite and nice and make everybody around us feel comfortable and take the high road,โ€ McCurdy said, her voice catching. โ€œMy experience of rage is that the more I have connected with it, the more it has led me on an effective life path, the more it has led me to make choices that I had been needing to make for a long time.โ€

Those choices have resulted in McCurdy not only becoming a prominent author, but a person fully in control of their career for the first time. She is currently working on her next book, and she has already written a script for a film adaptation of โ€œHalf His Age,โ€ which she will also direct โ€œif all the pieces fall into place,โ€ she said.

The upcoming series adaptation of โ€œIโ€™m Glad My Mom Diedโ€ was similarly something McCurdy was only comfortable with if she could stay at the helm. She and Ari Katcher will serve as co-showrunners. She wrote all 10 episodes, she said, and will direct multiple episodes, as well.

โ€œI am not interested in my stories being taken into somebody elseโ€™s hands,โ€ she said. โ€œThat would be offensive to me.โ€

McCurdy will not appear on screen, however, and she said itโ€™s too early to discuss who will play younger versions of herself. Meanwhile, Anistonโ€™s connection to the material โ€” the veteran actress has said that she and McCurdy โ€œhad very similar momsโ€ โ€” was key to casting her in the matriarch role.

โ€œShe does relate a lot to the material,โ€ McCurdy said of Aniston. โ€œIt would be a disservice to the heart and soul of this book, and a disservice to the deep connection millions of people have with it, for anybody to be a part of it for any other reason. Iโ€™m deeply protective of it.โ€

As we finished up our mid-afternoon meal โ€” a hodgepodge of spicy tuna bites and asparagus fries paired with guava and berry mocktails โ€” McCurdy reflected on the agency she is finally able to take.

โ€œI didnโ€™t feel that I had a voice with, really, any aspect of my life growing up. I felt kind of voiceless,โ€ she said. โ€œWriting was where I found my voice, and I think, as a result of that, found my power.โ€

Spencer is an L.A.-based culture writer and reporter. Her nonfiction book, โ€œDisney High: The Untold Story of the Rise and Fall of Disney Channelโ€™s Tween Empire,โ€ is out now.

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