Take it From Me is a TODAY series where experts use their wisdom to explain trends or make recommendations within their fields. In this latest installment, psychologists and family therapists share the relationship gems from โLove Island USAโ that viewers can implement in their own lives.
Reality dating shows may not be the first place that come to mind when looking for role models, but experts say that the latest winners of โLove Island USAโ are conducting their relationship in ways from which we can all learn.
Season 8 stars Trinity Tatum and Bryce Alakai were crowned the winners of the dating competition show during its July 12 finale. TODAY.com hit up some psychologists to hear about what the professionals think about the pairโs romance that all started in their six-week drama-filled summer in Fiji. And it turns out, we can take a page from the coupleโs book on communication, patience and tackling hard conversations, the professionals say.
โFor a young couple in this context, I feel like they bring forth a lot of wisdom,โ Joanne Broder, media psychologist and fellow at the American Psychological Association, tells TODAY.com. โTheyโre really honest and just very transparent.โ
Since the show wrapped, the couple, who left the villa $100,000 richer in prize money, has been spending time together in Los Angeles. They joined TODAY on July 15 to spill some details about their entry into the real world. So far, they told TODAYโs Craig Melvin, theyโre dealing with a touch of separation anxiety.
โSomething we werenโt anticipating was just how much our connection has affected us outside of here, too,โ Bryce said. โAnytime sheโs like, โIโm gonna go run this errand,โ Iโm like, โWhereโs she going?โ Like, my heart rate starts. Iโm like, โWhatโs going on right now?โโ
Trinity also shared that she wants โto be wherever Bryce is.โ
โI donโt like being away from him,โ she said.
While Trinity, 22, and Bryce, 30, have developed an inseparable bond, their connection didnโt necessarily start out hot and heavy. The two coupled up on their first night on the island, however they both expressed some concerns over their 8-year age gap. And when it came time to decide between locking in with one another or continuing to explore other options, they both chose to take the leap and see if they had chemistry with other incoming contestants.
However, sparks failed to fly with the other bombshells and the pair quickly found themselves back together. At one point, Bryce wanted to see if he felt any potential connection with fellow cast member Kayda, telling Trinity that he hoped to test the waters. But when Kayda didnโt return the sentiment, Bryce and Trinity continued to move forward, gradually getting to know one another and strengthening their physical and emotional bond.
By the end of the season, the two not only cemented their titles as boyfriend and girlfriend, they were also the only couple to say the magic three words โI love youโ to each other.
As the winners of โLove Island USAโ Season 8 begin to navigate the real world, hereโs what people can learn from their journey inside the villa, according to psychologists.
Building a Friendship
One of the most compelling aspects of the pairโs relationship on the island was their pace, psychologists say.
Tracy Meyer, a psychology professor at Collin College in Texas, tells TODAY.com that the couple proves โslow and steady wins the race.โ
โWhile it wasnโt sunshine and rainbows for them at first sight, they were willing to see where the relationship would take them,โ Meyer said. โTheir relationship mirrors real life more than the others on the show, as they were around temptation regularly, but chose not to let it affect them.โ
Meyer adds that as the days went by, the couple continued to choose each other, making a conscious effort to understand the other.
โIn the end, even the other contestants on the island recognized that what Bryce and Trinity had was a deeper level of connection that went beyond physical attraction and initial lust,โ Meyer says.
Apryl Alexander, a professor at UNC Charlotteโs department of health management and policy, tells TODAY.com that the โslow burnโ of the coupleโs bond proved to viewers that friendship should remain central to peoplesโ romantic relationships.
โWhen youโre developing a friendship, you are taking the time to get to know one another, be curious, build that connection,โ Alexander, who has a background in forensic psychology and child and family therapy. โAnd for them, their connection expanded to where we got in the finale โ where theyโre expressing love for each other.โ
Tackling the Tough Stuff
The experts also underscored how the healthy communication between Trinity and Bryce stood out, particularly as the pair tackled some difficult conversations. The coupleโs age gap was among the stickier topics that they openly discussed on the show. In some of the earlier episodes, Bryce expressed concerns over the age differential, mulling over the issue, even seeking advice from friends.
โThere is this weird thing with Trinity and the age gap,โ Bryce said, while confiding in fellow islander and bestie Zach Georgiou. โIโm the oldest one here, sheโs the youngest. You really fill into who you are from 22 to 26 when you get those experiences. I donโt want to steal her youth.โ
The pair also opened up about their concerns to their families during the July 9 episode of the show, with Trinity admitting that the age gap was initially โscary.โ But as the coupleโs relationship evolved, her fears subsided. And in the recent interview with TODAY, Bryce told Craig that the issue ended up โcompletely disappearing in my mind.โ
Alexander said that the coupleโs consciousness and open dialogue around the issue was key to overcoming their concerns.
โBryce kept bringing up the age gap conversation โย that he had some concerns around that, particularly whether or not Trinity, as the person who he perceived as significantly younger, wanted to take the time to explore and date more,โ Alexander said. โI love the transparency in that โ making sure that he wasnโt being manipulative or exuding any kind of power dynamics because of his age and status.โ
There was also the issue of the struggles around interracial dating. During the franchiseโs infamous Casa Amor episodes โ in which the guys and girls are split up and tested with a slew of new bombshells โ Trinity got vulnerable about her insecurity that Bryce could choose to couple up with another woman. Itโs a fear, she said, thatโs particularly daunting as a woman of color and one that she had previously surfaced to Bryce.
โItโs still really f—— scary, a woman of color talking to someone outside of their race and to see them go back to something that theyโre comfortable with,โ she told fellow castmate Aniya Harvey through tears. โItโs just one of my biggest fears, which he knows.โ
Alexander explained that itโs important for interracial couples to be open about their experience with race and remain upfront with any concerns they may have โ especially because ignoring the topic can only have negative effects down the line.
โIn other reality shows, when interracial relationships are being introduced or tested, people try to take it with a colorblind approach. That can only last for so long,โ Alexander said. โYou have to have these tough conversations on what does it mean to be able to navigate an interracial or intercultural relationship? It was a great start for them to be able to start this conversation and model it for viewers.โ
Broder added that having difficult conversations can only bring couples closer.
โItโs when you avoid those conversationsโฆ thatโs when you start experiencing cracks,โ she said.
Advice for Their Relationship Outside the Villa
Now that the two are out of the villa, the experts said that they hope the pair can continue to be transparent and avoid allowing their frequent communication from going by the wayside.
โLife is full of challenging moments. They made it off the island and theyโre in a good place,โ Broder said. โIโm rooting for them. I would tell them to keep doing what theyโre doing, and I wish them all the best, and keep having those hard, vulnerable conversations.โ