Travis Barker says he credits his late mom, Gloria, for his successful music career.
The Grammy-nominated Blink-182 drummer got emotional during a recent episode of Anderson Cooperβs βAll There Isβ podcast while recounting his motherβs inspiring last words to him before she died of complications resulting from SjΓΆgrenβs syndrome, an autoimmune disease.
Barker, who was a teenager at the time, told Cooper he had βno clueβ his mom would die.
The day before starting high school, Barker visited his mom in the hospital, where she encouraged him to follow his musical dreams.
βLuckily, I got down there the day she passed and had a chance for her to say, like, βPursue music.β Like, βI really want you to pursue music,ββ he recalled.
The following day, a broken-hearted Barker attended his classes trying not to cry. When Cooper asked Barker if he remembered that day, the musician nodded as tears filled his eyes.
After Barker placed his head in his hand, Cooper shared a painful memory from his own childhood.
βWhen my dad died, I was in fifth grade and I had a sense of shame about it for some reason,β Cooper recalled.
βLike, I remember a kid wanted to come over,β Cooper went on, his voice breaking.
After pausing, Cooper repeated, βI remember a kid wanted to come over to my house and I was angry about it because I didnβt want him to see me, like, sad. I didnβt want anyone to acknowledge it.β
βYeah, same,β Barker said, wiping his eyes.
Though Barker was lost in anguish, he was determined to honor his momβs last words to him.
βI had never experienced loss before that,β Barker said. βI didnβt really know a next step or step to take after that happened except to pick up where I left off and keep playing drums … So thatβs all I focused on, like head down, play the drums.β
He added, βI had this desire in me to fulfill what she said to me. I was like, I have to do it.β
Over the years, Barker has felt his mom was a kind of βangelβ guiding him toward success.
βTo me, sheβs not just dead and gone. I do feel her presence. Itβs almost ignorant to think I could just be so blessed to have everything I have now without her,β he said.
The drummer, whose life story is told in the new Hulu documentary βTravis Barker: Louder Than Fear,β endured trauma again when he was severely burned in a 2008 small plane crash that killed four people.
The crashβs only other survivor, Barkerβs close friend Adam βDJ AMβ Goldstein, died of an overdose the following year. After the crash, Barker struggled for years with severe post-traumatic stress disorder and a fear of flying.
Grief, for him, has been like βa wound that almost never healsβ and is easily βreopenedβ
βI can go through days, weeks, months, not thinking about it, and then something, right, something will remind you,β Barker said.
Therapy and time spent with loved ones, including wife Kourtney Kardashian and the coupleβs blended family of seven kids, whom he called his βsuperpower,βΒ have helped him process the pain.
βI remember my post-traumatic doctor had said something like, βPeople go through life just expecting everything to be perfect and not everythingβs gonna be perfect. Sometimes youβre gonna face adversity, right? But these things either destroy you or define you.β And there was no way I was gonna let it destroy me.β