Dean Cain, ‘South Park’ both in posts recruiting for ICE

Dean Cain played a superhero on TV 30 years ago. Now he wants to help the government in its unconstitutional sweeps of Home Depot parking lots, schools and bus benches for people who appear to be immigrants.

Cain played Superman in the 1990s TV series “Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.” On Tuesday, he encouraged his Instagram followers to apply for a job with the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency.

“Here’s your opportunity to join ICE,” he told followers in a video. “You can earn lots of great benefits and pay. Since President Trump took office, ICE has arrested hundreds of thousands of criminals including terrorists, rapists, murderers, pedophiles, MS-13 gang members, drug traffickers, you name it — very dangerous people who are no longer on the streets.”

Clearly, Cain is still fighting fantasy villains because nonpublic data from ICE indicate that the government is primarily detaining individuals with no criminal convictions of any kind. Of the 200,000 people detained by ICE since October, 65% have never committed a crime, and 93% haven’t committed a violent crime.

Dean Cain with co-star Teri Hatcher in “Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.”

(ABC Television Network)

But he wasn’t the only player from series TV to end up in a recruitment post for the Department of Homeland Security. On its X account, the department pulled an image from a “South Park” teaser for the show’s forthcoming episode “Got a Nut.” It showed masked men riding in black cars marked “ICE.” Homeland Security added its own caption: “Join.Ice.Gov.”

The show’s last episode, “Sermon on the Mount,” mercilessly lampooned the president’s manhood and penchant for vengeance-driven lawsuits. Trump responded by calling the animated comedy “irrelevant,” though its searing indictment of the president represented the show’s highest-rated season opener since 1999.

Paramount Global reported that viewership was up 68% from the previous “South Park” season premiere and was the top show across cable on July 23. The episode reached nearly 6 million viewers across Paramount+ and Comedy Central platforms in the three days after it aired.

A 20-second teaser of Wednesday’s “Got a Nut” episode shows Trump at a dinner event with Satan. As Trump’s courage is heralded by an off-screen speaker, the president rubs Satan’s leg under the table. Satan tells him to stop. Even the devil is disgusted.

It also appears “South Park” will be focused on ICE recruitment or, rather, the absurdity of the administration’s public call to arms. “When Mr. Mackey loses his job, he desperately tries to find a new way to make a living,” reads the caption about “Got a Nut” on “South Park’s” X account. It’s accompanied by a screenshot of the oft-misguided former school counselor Mackey looking out of sorts in a face mask and ICE vest. He stands near a characterization of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, who vamps in ICE gear and points a pistol in the air.

On Tuesday, “South Park” responded via X to the department’s usage of an image from the forthcoming episode: “Wait, so we ARE relevant?“ followed by a hashtag we can’t reprint here.

Satire around MAGA’s inhumane immigration policy has ramped up after the Trump administration launched an ICE hiring campaign, promising a $50,000 signing bonus and retirement benefits. “Your country is calling you to serve at ICE,” Noem said in a news release last week. “Your country needs dedicated men and women of ICE to get the worst of the worst criminals out of our country. This is a defining moment in our nation’s history. Your skills, your experience, and your courage have never been more essential. Together, we must defend the homeland.”

Cain’s signature show has been off the air as many years as “South Park” has been on, but Tuesday he decided it was time to slip on the virtual unitard one more time, imagining himself a superhero as he took to social media and said: “For those who don’t know, I am a sworn law enforcement officer, as well as being a filmmaker, and I felt it was important to join with our first responders to help secure the safety of all Americans, not just talk about it. So I joined up,” the 59-year-old said.

A follower replied: “Unfortunately, you can’t join ICE if you’re over 37 years of age — even if you’re a fully licensed state law enforcement officer.”

Cain replied: “Perhaps we’ll get the changed. …”

Mere hours passed, then viola! Noem announced during an appearance on Fox News that ICE’s hiring age cap had been eliminated. And faster than a speeding rubber bullet fired at an ICE protester, Superman extended the dream of state-sanctioned kidnapping to the young and old.