‘A Very Jonas Christmas Movie’ review: Trio makes good holiday company

‘A Very Jonas Christmas Movie’ review: Trio makes good holiday company


I can’t name a single song by the Jonas Brothers, but I can tell you their names β€” Joe, Kevin and Nick β€” and that they made a sitcom, β€œJonas” (second season titled β€œJonas L.A.”), back in 2009 that I liked a lot. The memory of that show was enough to get me kind of excited for β€œA Very Jonas Christmas Movie,” premiering Friday on Disney+ β€” which, as it happens, I also like. The humor is self-deprecating, the setting international, the weather wintry, the company good.

The plot, which is basically β€œPlanes, Trains and Automobiles,” minus Steve Martin, John Candy and Thanksgiving, plus the Jonas Brothers, Christmas and magic, finds the boys β€” are they boys or are they men, it’s a point of discussion β€” in London, a few days before Christmas on the last night of a six-month tour. While they are good at being the capital-B Jonas Brothers onstage facing screaming thousands, they are less adept at being the small-b brothers after the curtain comes down. Their relationship seems pretty normal to me, but to each his own necessity.

Here they delineate their characters.

Joe (to Nick): You’re the uptight responsible one.

Kevin (to Joe): You’re the relatable tramp. I’m the relatable β€”

Nick: β€” human cardboard.

Joe: β€” forgettable Curly.

Nick: β€” the world’s most unlikely rock star.

Joe: Not Nick or Joe.

Kevin: I was going to say β€œhandsome, relatable everyman,” but fine.

Anyway! The tour is over and the relatable tramp wants to go out and party, suggesting it could be epic. β€œWe are three extremely exhausted dads in our 30s,” replies the uptight one, β€œhow epic could it be?” And so, while his siblings FaceTime with their IRL families, Joe finds himself on a British barstool β€” a pubstool β€” beside a bearded stranger in a red leather jacket. You will recognize the actor as Jesse Tyler Ferguson and the character as St. Nick, barely disguised. Touched by Joe’s story of sibling alienation β€” β€œOur Christmas plans are to get the hell away from each other” β€” Santa works his wonders to keep them together until they get their brotherly magic back. For a start, he sends lightning to blow up the plane they’re scheduled to fly home on. (No one was aboard, we assume.)

β€œWe should be able to function in the real world,” says Nick to Joe, who is about to phone their manager (Randall Park) to fix things.

β€œThat would be ideal,” replies Joe, β€œbut we’ve been famous since we were little kids, so it is what it is.”

Further supernatural complications ensue, allowing Joe to have a β€œBefore Sunrise” episode with childhood friend Lucy (Chloe Bennet), cute-met on a train that should be going to Paris but is headed to Amsterdam, and Nick to hate-duet with frenemy Ethan (Andrew Barth Feldman), whose father he played in a fictional version of β€œHome Alone: The Musical” (β€œBeing home alone / It’s like being with no / With no people”). Other talents swelling the ranks: Laverne Cox as their agent; Billie Lourd as travel agent Cassidy; Will Ferrell as Will Ferrell, No.1 Jonas fan; and Andrea Martin as a rideshare driver.

The songs feel mechanical β€” easy on the auto-tune, fellas, I’ve seen your Tiny Desk concert and you don’t need it β€” though the accompanying production numbers are fun. (You knew there would be production numbers.) But like the Beatles and Monkees before them, the brothers are natural, genuine actors; it’s my own Christmas wish that they find more to do in this line. A little breeze would blow the plot away, but keep the windows shut and you’ll be fine.

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